McMeen Elementary

Weekly Message from Nurse Miriam

01/25/23, 11:16 AM

Good Morning McMeen Families!

  What a dreary January! Snow this morning again?! 

  On days like today, I sure can struggle to get myself to work. The good part is that I love my job, my coworkers and my students so much, they drive me to get out of my warm bed and get to work! 😀

  Our children can often feel the same way, especially this time of year. Unfortunately, if there's something about school that our children are struggling with (school work, attention, classmate conflict, etc.) the feelings can compound and lead to school avoidance.

  School avoidance is also called "school phobia" or "school refusal." School avoidance is not uncommon in children and an increase in the behavior has been seen in schools across the country since the COVID-19 pandemic "shutdown." Children sometimes may outright refuse to attend school or create reasons why they shouldn't go, which is often more common in our adolescents. More often, elementary-aged children who struggle with school avoidance will often complain of not feeling well and experience physical symptoms that don't seem to be related to an actual illness. Symptoms can include:

                                                  - headache

                                                  - stomachache 

                                                  - dizziness

                                                  - nausea 

                                                  - trouble breathing normally (hyperventilation)   

  Of course, some of these symptoms can also be signs of a physical illness. The difference? In children that are experiencing school avoidance, these symptoms don't ever lead to further physical ailments such as fever, vomiting( expect when they may work themselves up so much, they vomit a small amount that is not consistent with illness), diarrhea, fainting, or weight loss. These symptoms also often resolve on weekends or other days off from school. The symptoms can also seem to come and go throughout the school day, when children may find a certain class/subject more of a struggle than another one. 

  Many children who experience school avoidance struggle with identifying what exactly is the reason they feel ill when they need to attend school or participate in school. School-related anxiety is a common factor in school avoidance and it's important that we talk with our children who experience school avoidance to try to identify what may be causing the avoidance. It's also imperative that we insist immediate return to school/class. The longer our children avoid school and do not attend, return will become more and more difficult.  

 So what do we parents do when our children are frequently complaining of vague physical symptoms, that don't present as an illness, that results in staying home or visiting the school nurse? 

Initially, it's always important to rule out any physical health ailments. It's important to schedule a pediatrician appointment for your child if they have an increase in complaints of feeling ill to make sure there isn't an underlying illness or health condition that could be the cause of discomfort.

After the doctor's visit, if your child is deemed healthy and well, it's important to talk with your child to reassure them that they are healthy and strong and that their discomfort is most likely related to their feelings. Be sure to not think or talk about your child "faking" being sick. Students that are experiencing school avoidance truly do not feel well, it's just that their physical discomfort is often driven by stress/anxiety. 

To be completely open and honest: 

I have a chronically absent child of my own due to school avoidance/school anxiety. When I sternly remind her she must attend school, she will sometimes say things like "You don't believe me that I'm not feeling well!" I remind her that I most certainly believe her that her stomach and her head hurt but that these are symptoms that are not consistent with an illness that warrants staying home from school. I also remind her that I, too, have days when I have a stomachache or a headache before work and that I know that I should increase my water intake that morning, make sure I eat breakfast and take some deep breaths. It's important that we model to our children how best to deal with stress related symptoms. Talking about your own bad days with your children can help. At dinner time, our family members will take turns sharing our "highs" and "lows" of the day and how we got through our lows. It's important for our children to recognize that adults can struggle with work and other tasks and learn about the tools adults use to get through their struggle. 

Of course, another great step in supporting our children with school avoidance is setting up counseling/therapy for our children. Sometimes, children are able to open up more about their school anxieties with a trained and trusted adult other than their family members. Child counselors and therapists are experts at engaging with children in a safe and welcoming environment with the ultimate goal to support not just the child, but the entire family as well. Our Denver Health School Based Centers offer mental health care and their services are no cost for DPS students. You can visit their webpage here for more information. 

Please visit the following links for more information about school avoidance:

School Avoidance: Tips for Concerned Parents 

School Avoidance Alliance -  *also had great educator recourses! 

 

In Parenting Solidarity,

Nurse Miriam